Net humor…

H/T Old NFO@Nobody Asked Me.

I’m tired of the BS, politics, and other crap going on, so you get humor from across the pond.

Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman: “Which book has helped you most in your life?”

The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”

******

A prospective husband in a book store: “Do you have a book called ‘Husband – the Master of the House?’”

Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”

******

Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv.  What’s the secret?”
Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.”

******

Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription …
Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!”

******

For MEN….and WOMEN with a bit of humour ??
A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.

******

There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen. The rest get married and wonder what happened!

******

Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.

******

Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: “Because Women don’t have a wife!”

******

COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don’t teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!?

******

When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT – what he really means is that he doesn’t know his wife’s opinion yet.

******

A lady says to her doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?”
The doctor replies: “Give him an opportunity to speak when he’s awake! “

I’m not responsible, I just pass ’em along on recycled electrons… 😀

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Author: deplorablesunite

I am a divorced father of two daughters. I am a Deplorable. The cat in my profile is my buddy Ronnie Whiskers

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